Kunoichi Meeting
by sheltie
Summary: A group of Konoichi meet up and discuss a very important issue. Rated M to be safe. One-shot.


**Kunoichi Meeting**

 **By: Sheltie**

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 _I don't own Naruto at all_

 **A/N: right, this is just something totally random really. I just started to write and this is what came out. Warning a lot of innuendo, euphemisms, vulgar language and other things. So if that's not your thing then please leave now.**

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"I bet Sasuke is good in bed" Sakura said dreamily.

"Oh yeah, and he's probably packing down there too" Ino said with a dreamy sigh.

Sakura nodded her head furiously.

"And all that training he does, he's got to have a killer bod" Ino added in.

"Yeah" Sakura said drooling.

They then heard a snort and turned their heads to find Temari, who was sitting across from them. They were in private room where they held their kunoichi only meetings. Temari attended when she was in Konoha.

"What's so funny?" Sakura asked aggressively.

"Oh the thoughts you two have about the emo" Temari said.

"And what do you know!?" Ino shouted.

"I know that there's someone who is actually bigger, better and got an awesome bod" Temari said.

"Who?" Ino asked curiously.

"Naruto" Hinata answered.

"What, that loser, come on, you're joking, right?" Sakura laughed.

Only Ino joined in, but her laughter wasn't as boisterous as the pink haired kunoichi. The others were silent.

"What Hinata and Temari are saying is correct. I should know since I do Naruto's physicals when Lady Tsunade can't" Shizune said as she sipped her saké.

"And as for the bed part, well, you gotta experience that for yourself, but I can tell you that it's fucking fantastic" Tenten said with a grin.

"What Buns here means is he's a fucking goddamn Viking in the sack. He can raid my village any time" Anko said lewdly with a wide grin to match.

"Anko" Kurenai chided.

"What, you've let him go pillaging in you too" Anko said turning to her best friend.

Kurenai blushed at this. She wasn't as open to talking about sex in public even among friends like Anko was.

"He does know how to sheath his sword" Yugao commented casually as she sipped her saké.

Hinata just blushed bright as a bit of blood trickled out of her nose as a low perverted chuckle emitted from her throat.

"Our little shy mouse is a pervert, yes!" Anko cheered as she punched the air.

Kurenai's eyes widened in shock at this revelation then closed them and let out a sigh. To quote a certain Nara, this was going to be 'troublesome'.

"What, you guys have got to be kidding, right?" Ino asked shocked.

"No, have you ever seen Naruto train without a shirt on?" Tenten asked.

Ino shook her head, but Sakura nodded.

"And you didn't get turned on by that? Something is totally wrong with you pinkie" Temari said shaking her head.

"Yeah, Naruto's got a nice tan bod with a six-pack and tight muscles all over. It looks so yummy glistening in sweat that you wanna rub him down" Hana said with a lecherous smile.

"Yeah, rub him _all_ over" Anko said grinning lewdly.

Hinata matched Anko's lewd grin.

"But it's Naruto, the loser, the dead last" Sakura said.

"I don't think any of those titles apply to him any more. I mean, yeah, sure he was the dead last in your class, but he's now one the strongest shinobi in the village" Tenten said. "Besides those titles you get in the academy mean shit when you're a ninja."

"Names for him now is pussy wrecker, stamina freak, in a good way of course, the tastiest piece of meat in this whole village, the god of sex and oh so much more" Anko said.

"And as for size, I think Hinata knew how big he was before any of us knew that, right?" Tenten said with a smirk.

Hinata poked her fingers together as a blush blossomed over her face.

"Yeah" she murmured.

"What, you mean, you used your eyes to, you know?" Ino asked.

Hinata nodded, "I was a curious kid, and due to my sheltered childhood I wanted to know."

"Tell the peons the true facts of life mouse" Anko crowed.

Hinata cleared her voice.

"For size and girth Naruto is the top. The next one down after Naruto for size is Shino; he's got no little worm in his trousers that's for sure. The next after that are Shikamaru and Chouji who are equal in size though Shikamaru's dick is like a pencil while Chouji, the girth is almost the same as Naruto's. Kiba likes to brag, but he stuffs his crotch the most. He's the second to the smallest and finally Sasuke. He's the tiniest and as thin as a noodle" Hinata said.

"You gotta be lying" Sakura said in disbelief.

"Do you have eyes that can see through practically anything?" Hinata asked as her Byakugan activated as she stared at the pink haired kunoichi.

"N-n-n-n-no" Sakura stuttered.

"Ugh, I didn't need to hear about Shika and Chouji. They're like brothers to me, gross" Ino muttered.

"Not only that, but the Nara is too damn lazy to do a thing. Foreplay is too tiresome and he'd rather lie back and let the girl do all the work since it's too troublesome for him to do a thing in helping" Temari grumbled.

"Speaking from experience there, eh pigtails?" Anko asked.

"Yes" Temari muttered as she downed her saucer of saké then poured herself another.

"So we all pretty much agree that Naruto's the best in the sack?" Tenten asked as she looked around.

All the girls except Ino and Sakura nodded their heads with Anko being the more vocal.

"Hell fucking yeah" the snake mistress said with enthusiasm.

"What! That many of you slept with Naruto!" Sakura shouted, shocked.

Ino was also surprised and began to wonder if she was on the wrong ship, and wondered if it wasn't too late to jump off the Uchiha ship and onto the Uzumaki ship.

"Yup, and I'd like to take credit in sacking the brat first" Anko said proudly.

"Um, actually, that would be me" Shizune said as she raised her hand in a sheepish manner.

"No fucking way" Anko declared.

"When?" Yugao asked curiously.

"During the time when lord Jiraiya and Naruto came to get Lady Tsunade and myself" Shizune said, "Naruto was training late one night, and well, he took a break and then, um, one thing led to another and…"

Shizune was blushing bright red at the end of this.

"You may have gotten him first, but I sucked him off first" Hinata crowed proudly.

"HINATA!" Kurenai cried, shocked at her student's behavior.

"Yahooo! Our mouse goes for it" Anko cheered.

"Please stop Anko" Kurenai pleaded.

"Why, I'm liking the mouse more and more" Anko said grinning.

"Wait, Hinata, you, you, you gave Naruto a blowjob?" Ino asked in disbelief.

She couldn't believe the shy Hyuga could ever do such a thing. Pretty everyone knew of her massive crush on the hyper blond except for the blond himself. But no one ever thought she'd act on it in any way. So this was a surprise.

"Well, um, it wasn't my first thought when I came to him" Hinata said.

"Hehehehehe, she said came" Anko chuckled.

"Real mature Anko" Kurenai commented.

"Anyway, Naruto was training for the finals and I wanted to talk to him, hoping to talk to him about Neji" Hinata said, "and well, I saw him without his shirt on and all thoughts about talking vanished and the next thing I knew I was on my knees sucking on the biggest piece of meat I ever laid my eyes on."

"You slut" Hana chuckled.

Hinata's cheeks were red. She kept to herself that was she was more than willing to go all the way, but Naruto stopped her since he was going to be late for his match against Neji if he stayed. It disappointed Hinata very much, but a little later thought she made the right choice. She knew that beast Naruto had in his pants would've wrecked her if they went at it then and there without some prep work beforehand.

"Okay, okay, so Hinata sucked Naruto off, Shizune was Naruto's first time, then Anko after that. Who was after that?" Ino asked.

"That would be me, I guess" Tenten said as she raised her hand.

"Oh, how'd that play out?" Anko asked grinning, "you play the hot forge and the brat had a hard piece of metal ready to plunge into your hot forge?"

"Um, no" Tenten said blushing, "not yet" she muttered under her breath as she decided to do that next time she got Naruto alone. "It was some time after Lady Tsunade became Hokage, and well, I begged Naruto to meet her since she is my idol. After that we met her I was so overjoyed and I guess it bubbled over and well…"

"Some damn thank you I'll bet" Anko said with a grin.

Tenten nodded as her mind flitted back to the event and her eyes glazed over. Her body was getting so hot remembering every single detail of the event.

"Oh, yeah" she murmured as a bit of drool leaked out of her mouth.

"Then I'd be next, I guess" Temari said, "after the Uchiha retrieval mission and my brothers and I were here. I went to thank Naruto for helping my brother, and well. We had sex in his hospital bed. A lot."

"Wait, that's why lady Tsunade burned a hospital bed?" Shizune asked surprised.

Temari nodded.

"I was curious about that, but Lady Tsunade just only grumbled about blonds and rutting" Shizune said.

"Who was next on the Uzumaki pole?" Anko asked eagerly.

"Me" Hinata said confidently.

"Really?" Hana asked.

Hinata nodded, "I may not have been Naruto's first, but I lasted the longest, according to Naruto. He caught me training one day and joined in. We sparred and, well…." Hinata grinned pervertedly as she remembered the 'cool down' after the spar.

"No fucking way" Anko exclaimed.

"Way, Naruto and I did it for almost twelve hours" Hinata said smugly.

This shocked all the kunoichi. Twelve hours of sex. That just wasn't possible it seemed.

"Damn" Anko murmured.

"That's just not possible" Ino said as her mind tried to wrap around the thought.

"It is. I worked hard to get my stamina up to a point where I can handle Naruto" Hinata said proudly, "I knew he could go on and on so I made sure I could at least try and match him so I wouldn't tire out before he did too soon."

"How come I never saw any of this?" Kurenai asked.

"I was saving it for my Naruto" Hinata said.

"Well I guess I can say that I was after Hinata though I didn't last as longer as her" Hana said.

"So the bitch was finally topped?" Anko asked grinning lewdly.

"You could say that, and I got topped a lot" Hana said matching her friend's grin.

"Hell yeah, give me five girl!" Anko said as she held up her hand.

Hana and Anko high-fived one another, which made Kurenai close her eyes and let out a small groan.

"I was next, and Naruto helped me through my depression" Yugao said.

There was some silence as they knew how much Yugao was affected by Hayate's death since the two were in a relationship.

"He really helped you, huh?" Kurenai asked softly.

"He did. He was very tender with me" Yugao said with a nod.

There were some smiles from those who had been with Naruto. They all knew how sweet and tender Naruto could be when having sex then how he could change into a damn beast in a split second.

"So Kurenai, what about you?" Anko asked.

Kurenai hesitated since she wasn't the kind of person to talk about her sex life at all. But all eyes were on her and she could feel herself caving into peer pressure. She let out a sigh as she finally gave.

"Well, it was after I got into another fight with Asuma with him and his smoking. I was fed up and went out to drink" the genjutsu mistress said, "Naruto found me as I was stumbling home and well, I kind of took advantage of him."

"You took 'advantage' of Naruto?" Hana asked.

"Um, well, I hadn't had sex in a while and was pent up" Kurenai said as she shifted in her seat.

"Damn, heh, it's always the quiet ones eh" Anko said grinning like mad.

"Shut up Anko" Kurenai said without the usual heat in her voice as her cheeks were quite flush.

"Okay, okay. So we've established that Naruto has had sex with all of you at least once, right?" Ino asked.

The kunoichi in the 'I've had sex with Naruto' club nodded.

"Actually from what I've heard there are some other girls that Naruto has had sex with too aside from us" Shizune said.

"How do you know that?" Hana asked.

"Um, I like pillow talk after sex. He tells me all the girls he's donee. It gets me, um, re-charged" Shizune muttered blushing.

This brought new light to the usually quiet medic nin.

"Who else?" Anko asked curiously.

"Um, well there's the girl who works at the ramen shop Naruto likes to go to. What's her name again? Oh yes, Ayame. Then there's Haku, I think she's the girl Naruto met on his first mission out of the village or something. Who else, who else? Oh, there's that girl, well girls from Kumo. I think they're names are Yugito, Samui and Karui. Yeah, those are their names. Then there's that actress, um, oh yes, Koyuki. I believe he met her during his mission in Snow and then again during his three-year training journey with Lord Jiraiya. There's also a girl he met in Rice, what was her name again? Sasame, I think. Oh, then there's an Iwa kunoichi Naruto had done too" Shizune said. "That's all I can remember right now."

"What, the brat fucked an Iwa kunoichi?!" Anko shouted.

"Not so loud Anko" Kurenai hissed.

"Come on, you gotta to be shocked hearing this Kurenai" Anko said, "our brat fucked the rocks off an Iwa kunoichi."

"Really Anko that the best you can do, 'fuck the rocks off'?" Hana asked smirking.

"Best I could come up with" Anko murmured not happy with her choice of words since she knew she could do better than that.

"Well I guess Naruto did something not even the Fourth could do" Yugao said with a small smirk on her face.

"What do you mean?" Temari asked.

"Naruto buried the hatchet between Iwa and Konoha" Yugao said smoothly.

"Damnit Yugao, you took my thunder!" Anko shouted as she shook her fist at her friend.

Yugao just shrugged.

The amount of girls Naruto has had sex with staggered them even though they knew they shouldn't be too surprised by this. This was Naruto and he had the knack of still being surprising even after all these years.

Sakura was shocked to hear that three of the girls her teammate has done were ones that she knew since she was there on those missions with Naruto.

Ino sighed as she leaned her head back. She couldn't believe how much she missed out on. She could've been pounded to sweet, sweet ecstasy, but instead she had to settle with her fingers and toys. It just wasn't fair, how she could be missing out on all the action.

"Can I get in on this action?" the Yamanaka heiress asked.

"INO!" Sakura exclaimed.

 **End**

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 **A/N: I couldn't figure out any other way to end this so I just stopped here. I'm not sure if I'll add on another chap to this or not since I haven't a clue where to take this at all. Thanks for reading and please review.**


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